


Light moments

by Keenir



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-14
Updated: 2011-06-14
Packaged: 2017-10-20 10:00:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/211548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keenir/pseuds/Keenir
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amy catches the Doctor and the TARDIS doing...yellow light.  And the Doctor reflects on it.</p><p>This is written after watching _The Doctor's Wife_.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Light moments

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Amywolf](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Amywolf).



_One could say it all started when the Doctor announced he - I - was going to be building a new TARDIS. It never crossed my mind that, to a TARDIS, something like that is the height of sexy talk. Techno-foreplay 100% guaranteed to get your TARDIS in the mood._

 _And very awkward. Can’t tell you just how awkward. Too awkward for words, that’s a hint as to how awkward it was._

 **.***.**

“Doctor?” Amy asked, walking down the corridor, checking any door that would open. “Doctor, we need to talk,” she said at one door. “Our bunk bed collapsed again,” she said as she started to open another door. When that door was open, she said, “Wow,” and admired the view.

In the middle of the room stood the Doctor, surrounded by the same sparkling yellow streamers of light that had come out of the mouth of the woman-who’s-a-TARDIS-is-a-woman and, reportedly, according to the Doctor, out of every pore of regenerating Time Lords. And his clothes were very very tight, very likely because of the streamers.

And there was a scarf flying around and dancing with the light. And an umbrella hovering - Amy didn’t care to know why that was there. She could understand a scarf, but not an umbrella, it was just too kinky. And then she saw the celery…

Further observation of the bizarre airborne things, or of the Doctor’s fine bod as TARDIS lights did unspeakably intimate things with him just standing there, was stopped when a leather jacket dropped onto Amy’s face. She took a step back, and the door slammed shut.

“What the - ?” Amy wondered, and was about to take the jacket off and barge right into that room and ask the Doctor just what was going on - did a TARDIS have a conception of privacy? Probably not, as the door hadn’t been locked to begin with - and Amy started to put one hand on the jacket, when -

“Generally, jackets go on the other side of the body,” Rory said, standing beside her. Amy deduced that he had been about to come into view when the jacket had landed on her to begin with.

“I know that,” Amy said, lifting it off her head and draping it over one arm, checking it before she tried wearing it - after what she had just seen it with, best to be sure. After all, God only knows what it had been doing with that umbrella.

“What was in that room?” Rory asked. “The one you stuck your head into.”

“Nothing,” Amy answered quickly. “Why?”

“I’m trying to find the Doctor. Last I spoke to him, he said he was going to be repairing some coils and that I might want to watch.”

Amy snorted. “Repairing - is that what they’re calling it now?”

“Amy?”

“Nothing. Come on, I know something I would much rather you watch,” and led him away from that room.

 **.***.**

 _You can’t put a TARDIS’ mind into the body of anything but a TARDIS. You can’t put any TARDISpart in any nonTARDIS body._

 _Wait, I’m being redundant. Mostly. Yeah._

 _Okay, explaining now. See, most intelligent species, Time Lords included or we were, have organs composed of one substance or another (yes, even the Geth) which are commanded and controlled by their brain or brains._

 _TARDIS up the ante. By a lot. See, their thoughts *are* 9/10ths of what propel through time and space and etc. That last 1/5 is what lets Time Lords (such as I) be their mahoots and lets travelers breathe whatever we may be breathing._

 _Mind and body is body is mind, to riff off an Earth saying from - I knew it a moment ago. Oh well._

 _Ah yes, TARDIS. Took us a long time to find out how to tell if one’s pregnant, and by ‘us’ I mean Time Lord civilization. Because, as it turned out, a TARDIS is never with child._

 _Or rather, I should say, *a* TARDIS never is. Division of labor. Every TARDIS in existence is just a teensy bit pregnant, sharing the workload with all her sisters._

 _Which makes it problematic for the last one._

 **.***.**

Amy waited until just the right time to ask the Doctor what that had been. Unfortunately, a few hours later, the TARDIS had landed on a planet where humans and Silurians worshipped the evolutionary predecessor of what had been modified to become the TARDIS Model Ones and Twos.

So after all that, the Doctor walked into the control room where Amy and Rory were standing about, and asked, “Anything up now, Ponds?”

“I can imagine a few things that were up a day or so ago,” Amy said. “Like your umbrella.”

Rory frowned. Every time Amy had had him pretend to be the Doctor, there had never been an umbrella…not even in euphemisms.

“You saw that?” the Doctor asked.

“Oh yeah, Captain Hotpants,” Amy said.

“Humans. If you said that any more saucily, your vowels would have leers.”

Amy grinned at him.

‘Hotpants‘? “Isn’t that from Firefly?” Rory asked.

“Still applicable. Trust me,” Amy said.

“I’d…I can’t,” the Doctor said.

“Who are we going to tell, Doctor?”

“Now that you mention it… But that’s not why I can’t say.”

That alarmed Amy, who then asked, concerned, “Doctor…was it consensual?”

“Completely. But -”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“The TARDIS manifested some…items from my past,” the Doctor said. “From past regenerations.”

“Celery?”

“Lovely thing, celery. Garnishes your attire quite well. You don’t eat it, mind you.”

Amy’s mouth dropped as a thought occurred to her. “This was right after leaving that place where the TARDIS was a woman. And right before she surrounded herself with all those TARDIS guys.”

“Proto-TARDIS,” the Doctor corrected.

“Whatever. She was feeling her oats and, since she couldn’t get to the guys or proto-guys in time,” which she had to admit was strange to say about a vessel who moved through time, but still, “and you were nearby and willing.”

“That’s not it at all,” the Doctor said, and fled the room before they could ask anything more.

 **.***.**

 _Which all leaves me with one question. Not a terribly important question as things go, but I do wonder from time to time, which can be rather a lot if you’re me, and if you’re listening to this, you might well be me._

 _Fact - the TARDIS used Amy’s insides as a makeshift womb for the simpler-and-smaller moments of TARDIS “fetal” growth. That’s why the readings kept contradicting each other._

 _Fact - Amy became pregnant and gave birth to a healthy baby girl._

 _Question - did the TARDIS trigger one of Amy’s very fertile eggs to start dividing and growing into a fetus? Reproductive strategies like that do exist, after all. Or did the TARDIS surrogation induce Amy to have her way with Rory (which he never opposes, smart chap) at just the right time to result in a baby for her? It would certainly explain why they broke yet another bunkbed. I stopped giving them bunkbeds after the fourth one snapped._

 _More questions. But that’s life. Which isn’t always awkward, thankfully. Mostly just on this regeneration, moreso than on the regeneration I had when Amy traveled with me._


End file.
